With Christmas Right Around the Corner...
How about a genuine Santa endorsed sleigh? He has his latest model available that he ran some races in Nascar with, so try not to mind the Valvoline, STP and M&M's decals on it.(By the way, I really like that guy M&M, rap is my life!) It comes with optional reindeer or 3 Alaskan Racing Pigs! Contrary to popular belief, the pigs are real and not some conjured up tall tale. I was actually sent a picture of them jumping hurdles recently by my father, so it's legit. When I get my scanner up I'll give you proof of their existence. In the meantime, TRUST ME! I would recommend the pigs over the reindeer, who have gotten to be rather snobbish and would rather be drinking dry martinis and trying to pick up antlered beauties than "pulling some stinking sleigh"
Speaking of Santa and the sleigh, I almost forgot a true story. I once went on a date with a woman who used to work at the North Pole Post office! (Yes, there is actually a town called North Pole outside of Fairbanks!)She said the amount of mail they would get during Christmas was positively unbelieveable. The date was actually quite fun, we went out to the different clubs. One was an absolute cesspool of dealers, hookers, pimps and a few "normal" people. That would be the two of us...It was so dark in this place that you could barely see your hands in front of you. Smoke so thick you could cut it with a knife. It has been noted that a man once tried to pick up a chimpanzee in there one night...The houseband was an amazing group, with one of the finest guitarists in the state-stunning! They had been there for something like 6 years straight. The bassist I was playing with at the time knew them and I had the absolute dream experience of getting up and jamming with them earlier in the month. So she and I had fun until she tried to tell me that Santa didn't really exist! --------------NO!!!!!!!!
-Derek (tour guide in hell, vagabond on hiatus)
Speaking of Santa and the sleigh, I almost forgot a true story. I once went on a date with a woman who used to work at the North Pole Post office! (Yes, there is actually a town called North Pole outside of Fairbanks!)She said the amount of mail they would get during Christmas was positively unbelieveable. The date was actually quite fun, we went out to the different clubs. One was an absolute cesspool of dealers, hookers, pimps and a few "normal" people. That would be the two of us...It was so dark in this place that you could barely see your hands in front of you. Smoke so thick you could cut it with a knife. It has been noted that a man once tried to pick up a chimpanzee in there one night...The houseband was an amazing group, with one of the finest guitarists in the state-stunning! They had been there for something like 6 years straight. The bassist I was playing with at the time knew them and I had the absolute dream experience of getting up and jamming with them earlier in the month. So she and I had fun until she tried to tell me that Santa didn't really exist! --------------NO!!!!!!!!
-Derek (tour guide in hell, vagabond on hiatus)
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