Trouble with Gravity

Ever have one of those days where everything you touch or think of picking up falls to the floor?! I got the distinct impression that gravity was not my friend. At work it was bad- knives, towels, lemons and gnocchi (dumplings) were hurling themselves to their apparent deaths to avoid my grasp...Hey, I tried to talk them out of an early demise, but what can you do, you know? Of course gravity is always especially heavy when I crawl out of bed every day. It's as if I'm Gulliver and those damn Lilliputians have lashed me to the bed! Apparently size does matter-he he! Or someone is fooling around with the controls, hitting that switch that gets those monstrous gravity gears grinding together. Or else it was that giant Asteroid that just passed by earth. Oh, there it is now! And who do I see waving from it? James Brown, the Godfather of Soul! "Get on the Good Foot"! Just dropped a CD jewel case---time to hit the hay before something really disastrous happens, like I get in a good mood! No smiling allowed here during my workweek-check them at the door for a modest fee! -Derek Ozelle