Saturday, April 16, 2005

Humor Because We Need It!

Okay, so I've been gone awhile...(for those of you from Michigan-and elsewhere...) did you really want to read thousands of words drenched in self pity, frustration, Black Moods lower than the Mariana Trench, to the extent of entering the scathing inferno of Hell and seething observations about my life? I didn't think so. However, there may be some of that later--right now I'm busy making my freakin' lemonade out of lemons...And turning that frown upside down into a smile. Uh huh. All I can manage is a smirk, that'll have to do. In the old daze I'd carefully measure out the glugs out of a bottle of Stoli or whatever else was near. Stay away from Prestone and furniture polish, it never mixes all that well with the lemonade...But I don't do that anymore, I'm in blissful sobriety now.

Some good quotes I found lately;

"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so?
There's a support group for that.
It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
--Drew Carey

"A study in the Washington Post says that women have
better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the
authors of that study: "Duh."
--Conan O'Brien

"I think that's how Chicago got started. Bunch of
people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime
and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough.
Let's go west.'"
--Richard Jeni

"Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many.
Monogamy is the same."
--Oscar Wilde

"Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a

member of Congress. But I repeat myself."
--Mark Twain

over n out buttercups--Derek Ozelle, coffeebean wrangler at large