Thursday, February 24, 2005

Time Flies When You're having...Fun and/or None

Wow, long time no see-would you believe that I've been held hostage by some Norwegian midgets on the Aleutian island of Attu? Okay, what would you believe? One Swedish Amazon masseuse?

A couple of interesting news items from our great state of Alaska;
ANCHORAGE ELEPHANT DOWN AND OUT
last month it became national news that the Elephant Annabelle at our Anchorage Zoo has been depressed-go figure!I have personally seen her and no, she doesn't look like she's jumping for joy. Munching on hay, staring at the walls of her "barn" really isn't making it for her. And--she's an ELEPHANT living in Alaska! I imagine that she could really go for a week at Club Med right about now. Ditto for me.

FLUSHING THE LOVE PUMP DOWN THE DRAIN
This just in-it's another Bobbitt case numero dos! Two days ago this guy decided that he was going to give his mistress the news that he was breaking up with her. The tawdry detail was she was his wife's sister. So el brother-in-law tells her and then decides that they should have one last screw to remember each other by. The moron in his infinite wisdom allowed her to tie him up...and then she lopped off Mr. Happy! She drove him to the hospital and apparently medics were able to locate the lost penis. It was reattached, no word yet on whether it will be "operational". There's a moral in this story-sometimes it's bad if one do the Little Sister like he do the Big Sister too. Keep it in yo' pants, don't do the dance...

I managed to get a nice case of the "will a bus or will a stray bullet hit me " flu. These are the delusional thoughts that go through your mind 12 days into the agony. Everybody at work got it, has it, or is going to get it. And now there's talk of a bird flu pandemic coming in the future...NOw they're saying that the more you worry, the bigger the chance that you'll get alzheimers. Great-something ELSE to worry about-not.

Big news-I finally got my Takamine acoustic guitar (thanks Mizz Loon from MI for the cheerleading for me to get it! Ewe know who ewe are...) It's absolutely beautiful, sounds great but it did have to be set up at the shop to eradicate some buzzes. So things are looking up, it IS very relaxing and good for my mindset to play. I can tell it's going to take some time to get out of my laid back lifestyle/rut though. I'm not exactly chomping at the bit to be a studio rat, the inspiration is somewhat low lately. My job sucks practically every molecule of enthusiasm out of me. I had a sneaking suspicion that it would be this way, just have to get the momentum going. My depression has been particularly bad lately and it's a struggle. I'm having more problems with my teenage son (who doesn't live with me) thinking that I'm a human ATM machine. I do know the law--Dad=money. However, it's another law that you should ask tactfully and with a little respect. Some people's kids-like mine. The other big purchase is the nice digital 8 track that I've been wanting. I figured it was time to break in my new Visa because the way things are looking this may be my last musical purchase of the century...well, perhaps that's a bit negative, how about this year...I've done a couple short demos to get up to speed on it and it's coming along pretty well.

As W.C. Fields once said "start every day with a smile and get it over with!"

Until next time, keep the faith--I'll be back before June, I promise! -Sir Derek Ozelle ll