Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Recovering Alkies

I think I made some mention of being a recovering alcoholic. My 7 year sobriety birthday is coming up later on this month, I can't say I'm that excited about it. Due to the grace of God and time in "the rooms" I've been able to remain sober. As somebody once wrote, "Sobriety gave me wings to fly and then they took away the sky". It feels like that often. After numbing one's senses for over 20 years and basically turning a blind eye to life in general, it's often a daunting task to get back into the stream of life again. The thing is I'm not sure I ever was all that immersed in it. Oh no, now I'm falling into the abyss of perspectives again-ha ha! Music is life, right? At least that's what a little bird told me once...or was it the vino?

This relates to what lurks in the mind of Mr Chameleon...you see, I wasn't exactly happy playing all of these gigs playing alot of songs I wasn't very into. Hence the drinking. I did make some fairly good money, but drinking is very expensive, I don't have alot to show for it. I do have some nice amplifiers and instruments, but played ALOT of tough gigs to buy them. I still have very distinct memories of cigarette smoke thick as fog, and those ever-present beer signs glowing on the opposite wall. Along with that, some very "fuppduck" customers at times not paying the slightest attention to us. That never mattered to me, continue to play your ass off regardless is the rule. But even with the dreary circumstances, I still have retained a belief in magic. I've even had the experience of playing a song and been able to immerse myself so much into it, time has stopped and it's deliciously sublime. So I do know that there can be a miracle or two occuring for me if I'm aware of them. This life seems to be flying by these days, a little too quickly, so I'll keep my binoculars out and keep a lookout on ye olde horizon. Time to exit this babble-o-thon.

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